Testosterone fuelled depression (part 2 of 3)

Spirituality & Depression in Men

In my research on the topic of depression and Christians I couldn’t find a lot written specifically about men. As I discussed in my last post, this is not because men just don’t get depressed very much. Its because it has only recently become recognised as a major issue which society is just beginning to address and as sometimes happens, the church is lagging behind. I’m not sure why we do this…perhaps its because we are so cautious when it comes to being involved in ‘the world’ that we tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. It seems to take several years – decades even - for the church to realise that what they had taken pains to ignore and trivialise was in fact important and relevant to their people. Society has now just started to recognise and respond to male depression. Hopefully we Christians will pull our socks up, recognise what it is, and isn’t, and respond with compassion and real help.

There have been many well-known Christian men who have suffered depression…real men of God, strong men, men that have been known for their great works. For example Spurgeon, John Piper, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Handel and John Wesley. Below is a list of some well-known men of widely different fields who have and do suffer from depression.

Buzz Aldrin	American astronaut	Iassac Asimov	American author
Ben Ross	Retired rugy league player	Julian Assange	Australian publisher and editor
Ian Thorpe	Australian gold medalist swimmer	Ben Tune	Former Wallabies winger
Alec Baldwin	American actor	Christian Bale	British actor
David Banner	American hip hop artist	Pete Best	British musician (Beatles)
Frank Bruno	British boxer	Anthony Callea	Australian pop singer
Ray Charles	African-American singer	Winston Churchill	Former British Prime Minister
Eric Clapton	Singer	Kurt Cobain	American musician
Leonard Cohen	Canadian singer-songwriter	John Denver	American musician
Johnny Depp	American actor	Charles Dickens	British writer
Bob Dylon	American singer-songwriter	Harrison Ford	American actor
Peter Gabriel	British singer	Geoff Gallop	Australian politician
Andrew Hansen	Australian comedian (The Chase)	Ernest Hemmingway	American writer
Sir Anthony Hopkins	British actor	Billy Joel	American musician
Daniel Johns	Australian musician	John Lennon	British singer-songwriter
Terry Bradshaw	American football player	David Letterman	USA comedian & TV presenter
John Marsden	Australian novelist	Spike Milligan	Irish comedian
Isaac Newton	British physicist	Brad Pitt	American actor
Bruce Springsteen	American songwriter-singer	Mark Twain	American writer
Mike Tyson	African-American boxer	Robbie Williams	British pop singer
Brian Wilson	American musician (beach Boys)	Owen Wilson	American actor
John Clees	Actor	Abraham Lincoln	Former American president
Michelangelo	Italian painter & sculptor	Gary McDonald	Australian actor
Vincent van Gogh	Dutch artist	Oscar Wilde	British-Irish playwright
Jack Irons	American musician	Drew Carey	American comedian
Johnny Carson	American TV presenter	Michael Hutchence	Australian singer-songwriter
Jim Carrey	Canadian actor & comedian	Jon Bon Jovi	American singer-songwriter

Sadly, being a Christian involved in a church frequently makes depression worse! And this is often more true for men. Why? It shouldn’t be this way of course. Lets look at why it is.

Unfortunately, guilt issues seem to be a general problem amongst Christians anyway, but when a person has depression the problem is much worse. One of the general symptoms of depression, to anyone Christian or not, is undeserved feelings of guilt, as well despair and hopelessness. This is because, in short, the chemical imbalances that come with depression cause a person to develop and be extremely sensitive to negative emotions. So any extra pressure in this area just exacerbates the problem. And it seems, often the church (other Christians/leaders) arouses further intense guilt in Christians with depression. Our precious gospel delivers people from guilt…or does it? Well the actual Gospel does but I think sometimes we have become accustomed to promoting guilt as a response to or evidence of repentance, forgetting that that’s not what the grace of God is about. We Christians also sometimes cause guilt feelings by the words we say to depressed people, often unknowingly, which is why just knowing more about and understanding general depression is very important. There is much more to this and its an area that deserves its own post…and I will explore this in depth another time.

I’m aware as I’m writing this that it may seem as though I’m being very critical of ‘the church’, and that’s not my aim. I believe the church is a powerful force that in most cases is made up of people who love God. I am usually very sensitive about being critical of people doing God’s work, but in this case I believe there are legitimate areas that we can all improve on. The church is made up of people like me! So it makes mistakes. And this is one area that needs shaking up.

The silence that surrounds depression within the Christian community and especially regarding men, only serves to make it worse. Have you ever heard a sermon or small group discussion on depression? If it is mentioned its usually along the lines of looking at what a person does to cause or make their depression worse, which only serves to feed guilt and feelings of failure. What about someone preaching about how to support another person with mental health issues without judgement? In the last few decades it has become much more acceptable for women to talk about their feelings and emotions but, even though its changing, men are struggling to do the same. And its no wonder men don’t want to talk about their emotional issues when they have been judged harshly in the past. We need to talk openly about depression with other Christians without judgemental overtones.

While we, the church, keep silent on the topic, depressed Christian men who are not ‘coping’ are often sidelined and marginalised within the church. This becomes a problem because in general, men see their value in what they do (task orientated), while women perceive it more in who they are (relationally orientated). The implication of this is that these men then feel they have no purpose in God’s kingdom, which attacks their very manhood. But if you are a man reading this you need to know that you have a purpose! God has a purpose for everyone, with mental illness or not. Remember Psalm 139:16, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” God has a purpose for EVERY man’s life even if that includes depression. God can and does use depression to further His kingdom. 2 Corinthians 4:7-11 tells us, “Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” Our bodies include our brains and depression is certainly encompassed in the term suffering. After all as God told Paul, “My power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). We see Paul as a strong man of God and yet God is saying here that He values weakness! This is really hard to comprehend, especially so for men as the perception in society has been that they must be the strong ones. In fact it may seem to Christians that this is what God wants as He has put men in the position of being the head and spiritual leader of the home. But the buck doesn’t stop with the man…they are not the overall leader. They have another higher force above them…They do not have to be the one in control all the time. God is. When men realize this and fully grasp it there can be a lessening of the feelings of failure and guilt when they struggle with losing their sense of control.

Perhaps men will feel freer to speak of their struggles with depression when the causes of depression are more understood within the church. As I wrote in my last post, the causes are very rarely SOLELY spiritual. Many medical studies have shown that lots of things can lower mood-regulating brain chemicals. And yet many Christians presume depression is a result of lack of faith, a weak prayer life or a bad attitude, amongst other things.

The following are actual recent quotes from legitimate Christian websites:

v “He [God] also takes away all the emotional pain from inside of you as well.”

Ø God does not take away all of our physical pain, although he sometimes does heal physical ailments, so why would we expect Him to take away all of our emotional pain (although sometimes He does heal emotional ailments too).

v “Anyone can suffer from it [depression] but everyone in Christ can overcome it.”

Ø I guess this is taken from the verse that says in Christ we can overcome anything. Which although I do believe, I have to say I don’t understand, as obviously we don’t overcome everything bad (in this life). But why do we accept this when it applies to physical things but not mental?

v “One must never give in to depression; the human spirit must fight back.”

Ø This is said by people who have never experienced severe depression, as although there are things we can do to help ourselves it is not a simple matter of just giving in or not.

v “Much of our discouragement/depression is the consequence of our guilt, resulting from sinful   

  conduct or the neglect of spiritual responsibility.”

Ø Yes this can be true but all we need do is repent, confess and God has forgiven us. So its not the sin that hold us in depression it’s the undeserved guilt which is often promoted by other Christians and indeed by the depressed person themselves.

These are all examples of words which can make the depression worse.

A close relative and church leader, once said to me that she thought mental illnesses were caused more by demonic activity than by physical reasons. This is unbiblical and totally unhelpful. It may be something to be investigated BY A PROFESSIONAL if the person has been involved in occult activity or perhaps if the depression is severe and treatment-resistant, but it is not a general rule of thumb.

Its true that sometimes health problems can be tied up with spiritual issues. But for some reason Christians tend to think this applies to mental health problems more than physical health problems. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:30, many among them were weak and sick because they failed to examine themselves before taking communion – a suggestion of sin in their lives. David committed adultery and was depressed until he confessed his sin. So, as with physical illness it is important to individually ask God to show you anything that might be contributing to your depression. It is possible for sin to exacerbate depression as the guilt and shame can trigger a depressive episode, but once those sins are confessed God forgives, and they are remembered no more by Him. Sometimes we hang onto the guilt and shame of past forgiven sins needlessly, making our depression worse.

Even so, it is not up to us to judge whether the reason for someone’s depression is that they have sin in their lives. That is up to God. We all have sin in our lives and we are not in a position to judge another’s sin as more deserving of depression than ours. Job is a good example of someone who was blameless and disciplined and yet he experienced deep emotions with his suffering. So much that he wanted to die. (see my last post)

It may be helpful to look at depression the way we look at cancer. Sometimes cancer is caused by something the person did. For example they may have smoked cigarettes. But sometimes people who have never touched a cigarette gets lung cancer. And even if it is for the former reason, we usually look on them with some form of understanding and compassion. Most times we don’t hold their reason for their illness against them but support them through their battle with cancer. Yet it seems very easy to say that depression is caused by something the person did (which may or may not have some truth to it) and which then seems to mean we should not ‘pander’ to them too much. Why are we not as understanding with mental health illnesses as with physical illnesses?

The fact is that even though our bodies all wear out in the end and we are all susceptible to disease, even ones that affect the brain such as Alzheimer’s, some Christians find it hard to accept that clinical depression has biological causes.

A person is made up of three parts, physical, mental (including emotional), and spiritual. What affects one affects the other two. Depression can, and often does affect the spiritual life, just as it also affects the physical. Its important to clarify the causality here. Its depression affecting the spiritual, not the spiritual causing depression. A mental illness is not the same as a spiritual crisis. A spiritual crisis may be caused by a mental illness, but a mental illness is not caused by a spiritual crisis. In other words, it is the mental illness that comes first, not the spiritual crisis. This is important because it means when you treat the mental illness the spiritual life will improve. Treating a person’s spiritual life will help some areas but will not fix the mental health problems. Having a mental illness and being a strong person of faith is no different than having a serious physical illness and being a strong person of faith.

Depression definitely does affect spiritual activities. Praying, reading the Bible and worship become difficult as concentration and motivation is more difficult and often when we are depressed we feel cut off from God. Depression inspires a worthlessness that undermines the love and mercy of God. A depressed person’s sense of failure and guilt are so strong and over-powering. Its very easy to say not to walk by feelings but to live by faith, but with depression our FEELINGS are highlighted. Similar to if you break a leg -  you are very focussed on the pain…it takes over your mind, that’s what being depressed can be like. You can know that God loves you and doesn’t judge you, but that is in conflict with your very intense overwhelming feelings of the opposite.

A major spiritual area that depression affects is going to church. Social activities can become extremely difficult and very draining when experiencing clinical depression. Even the simple phrase “hi how are you?” can be tough. Most of the time I answer I’m ok even if I’m feeling rotten. I remember once answering that I’m not too good, and the person didn’t even hear me, and they just went on to the next topic. Its like people don’t really want to know how you are. People would be shocked to hear you answer honestly with something like “well actually I just want to die…how are you?” Depressed people often just stop coming to church.

It very hard to maintain a healthy spiritual life when you can’t pray, read the bible worship or be with other Christians. This of course makes the pain worse as then you feel cut off from both God and people. This is particularly difficult as men are supposed to be the spiritual head of the home. Its easy to see why depression is sometimes diagnosed as a spiritual problem when it is in fact a mental health problem. Usually it is depression that causes spiritual withdrawal, not the other way around. The good news is that when depression is treated the spiritual life will be restored.

If you have not experienced depression its easy to tell a depressed person to have more faith, to read his bible and trust God more.  But that would be like telling someone with a broken leg that their faith will fix it. We cannot stop depression just by having ‘more faith’. Sometimes depression is healed by a miraculous touch of God, just as physical afflictions can be. But most often it is through the tools that God has given us…medicines, doctors, therapists, etc.

The Bible talks a lot about us going through trials and suffering. I don’t think this just means physical, financial or circumstantial. I think this includes mental and emotional. So does this mean we accept depression as part of life, and stop seeking healing for our depression. NO! God can and does heal either miraculously or through other means. I have read stories of people who have suffered depression for many years and one day God has healed them. But what would you do if you broke your back in a car crash and became a paraplegic. Of course, it would be extremely difficult but the goal would be to accept it and to be able to live your life the best you can with the limitations you have, without denying that God could heal you. We would do everything we can to help ourselves, we would continue in prayer to ask for our healing, but we would need to move on and allow God to use us in whatever capacity He wanted. Chronic depression is no different.

So, what about the verses in the Bible that talk about a Christian being joyful? An often quoted scripture is “the joy of the lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). But when you are depressed and don’t feel this joy all you can think is that you are failure as a Christian and that even God must be disappointed in you. Where is this joy? As I have written in a previous post (entitled “Let the joy of the lord be your strength???”), I see this as matching the scripture that states that Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before Him (Hebrews 12:2) in that it is the knowledge of the joy that is ahead of us in heaven that becomes our strength. This is a controversial area of scriptural interpretation, but I believe that the gospel promised a life free from sin and sickness which is only partly fulfilled here on earth. Even Paul spoke of feeling “sorrowful yet always rejoicing” in 2 Corinthians 6:10. So its like we wrestle with the knowledge of our healing and faith, and also with our feelings of sorrow. Jesus himself did not always feel joyful. One time Paul said of himself, “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart” (Romans 9:2). If the joy spoken of in the new testament was meant to be with us continuously then Revelations 21:4 where it says, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” would be irrelevant as Christians would be always joyful and never sad. The attempt to take the promises of the gospel that are meant to be fully realized in eternity and to apply them fully to life here on earth has been termed by theologians as ‘over realized eschatology’ As the author of Ecclesiast4es writes in 3:4, “There is a time to weep and mourn as well as a time to laugh and dance”.

When the symptoms of depression become very strong it can become a life-threatening situation. Because suicide is a result of biological causes, being a Christian does not always protect a person from this risk. Understanding and knowing how to prevent suicide is an area in which Christians in general are lacking. In the past the church has been particularly judgmental of people who are suicidal. Even in this day and age, I’ve talked to some Christians who believe a born-again Christian will not go to heaven if they commit suicide! Without trivializing it, suicide is at most a sin, and if we as Christians die having sinned we still go to heaven. I plan to write a post (probably a series as there is so much to cover) on suicide in the near future, so won’t delve too much here. But as my previous post mentioned, suicide is a major problem for men with 5 out of 6 deaths by suicide being male. As such we need to know more about depression and suicide and to be more understanding of men who are having problems in this area. We need to let them know its ok to be vulnerable and that we love and respect them both with and without depression. Depression does not define who you are, it is ‘just’ something you experience.

I feel as if I have just touched the surface on some these issues in this post. But I guess that’s

what my book will do…delve much deeper into it all.

I do welcome any thoughts, comments and/or suggestions for this blog, or for my book.

My next post, part 3 of this series on men and depression will explore how to support a Christian man who is going through depression.

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I’m not a trained professional.

I have just gathered information from reputable sources and presented it here.  Its not meant as specific advice for individuals.

Please, if any of this resonates with you seek professional help.

If you want information on how to do that please email me…ruthch31@gmail.com
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